i realize that i stare at people alot. and i think about what its like to be them. because i dont feel like a human. the only reconizeable human emotion i feel is despair, and sometimes rage(which morphs into hate). i just dont feel connected to anything.

i just keep waiting for a person or an event to push me into real emotions. which is why i think i want a girlfriend(or at this point a boyfriend would do) because i could latch onto their and feel things through them. if that makes sense.

oh well.
tripping is for teenagers, murder is for murderers and hard drugs are for bartenders.