Saturday I depart for Gainesville Fl, on my bicycle. If I make it, it will be a double century ride, on a fixed gear bicycle. Look out for pictures this time next week.
200 miles is quite a long way, wish me luck, I may need it.
Also my girlfriend moved out and I had been pretty upset about it, things rarely go as planned. I can't always control the wind, but I can always adjust my sails.
I may lose a lot of things, but at least I still have my bicycle and my dog. I do miss Kristen though.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Is it wrong to feel like I don't want to be in love with Kristen any longer? I mean, she is completely incapable of making me happy, all she actually does is make my life harder by being lazy, spoiled and selfish(which can be accounted for by being clinically depressed).
She apparently has no desire to improve herself even though her mother and I practically force her to the doctors.
Is love now worth a headache later? Where is the line one crosses when it actually is all more trouble than it's worth?
I give so much, I do all of the cooking and cleaning and I do all of the budgeting for bills take care of the dogs and the list goes on and on. And if I don't want sex when she wants it? I'm an asshole and maybe she should be with someone younger who can give her what she wants.
I just feel like I deserve someone who can give back to me, even in the slightest way, because it's not too much to ask.
And because of all of this I'm starting to miss things from my past, like wishing I never moved away from Gainesville. Even though i struggled financially there at least I always felt I knew who I was even if I didn't like who that person was. Now i feel like I know who I am and that I'm trapped, whereas before I at least felt like I could escape.
This Is Not An Exit.
She apparently has no desire to improve herself even though her mother and I practically force her to the doctors.
Is love now worth a headache later? Where is the line one crosses when it actually is all more trouble than it's worth?
I give so much, I do all of the cooking and cleaning and I do all of the budgeting for bills take care of the dogs and the list goes on and on. And if I don't want sex when she wants it? I'm an asshole and maybe she should be with someone younger who can give her what she wants.
I just feel like I deserve someone who can give back to me, even in the slightest way, because it's not too much to ask.
And because of all of this I'm starting to miss things from my past, like wishing I never moved away from Gainesville. Even though i struggled financially there at least I always felt I knew who I was even if I didn't like who that person was. Now i feel like I know who I am and that I'm trapped, whereas before I at least felt like I could escape.
This Is Not An Exit.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Recently
So I haven't been cycling a whole lot recently, but I have been working and my girlfriend who's now my fiancee has moved in with me, which hasn't been quite the joy i would have hoped it would have been.
Her mother and I think that she is bi-polar, which to me is a bit overwhelming. In a few weeks she has a doctors appointment and we'll know more about it then. It's very stressful for me because one minute she's fine and the next minute she's flipped out and trying to move out of the house by walking down the street carrying a toothbrush and a tee-shirt.
It's scary because I love her so much and I just want her to be healthy and happy.
The other day we got YMCA memberships and started working out, which I'm happy about. My shortterm fitness goals are to run three miles in 23 minutes and to have a flat stomach again. We'll see how it works out. I already feel better.
So there's a lot more going on, like maybe looking into moving out west to Portland Oregon by the end of the year, who knows.
I also got a promotion to a supervisor at work, which rules.
That's all i got.
Her mother and I think that she is bi-polar, which to me is a bit overwhelming. In a few weeks she has a doctors appointment and we'll know more about it then. It's very stressful for me because one minute she's fine and the next minute she's flipped out and trying to move out of the house by walking down the street carrying a toothbrush and a tee-shirt.
It's scary because I love her so much and I just want her to be healthy and happy.
The other day we got YMCA memberships and started working out, which I'm happy about. My shortterm fitness goals are to run three miles in 23 minutes and to have a flat stomach again. We'll see how it works out. I already feel better.
So there's a lot more going on, like maybe looking into moving out west to Portland Oregon by the end of the year, who knows.
I also got a promotion to a supervisor at work, which rules.
That's all i got.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
getting ones digital ducks in a row is a empowering and sometimes
embarassing thing.
embarassing thing.
as a side note i no longer have the internet in my home so i'm doing a
great deal from my smart phone.
toys are cool. now working for almost 2 weeks is cool. too much
mountain dew and watching complete seasons of 24 in one sitting is
cool too.
that's that.
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