This is the last time I'll tell you.

Hey, Mike Waskom

Since She Left


Get hip, ya'll.

Why are you even here? Go elsewhere.

So incase you've missed it, here's an update of my health...


So last month I hadn’t been to the doctor in years, now I’ve got 4 doctors. I have a team of doctors just waiting to poke and prick and probe my every orifice.

SO, the Doc and I talked for about a hour and she felt around a bit on me and she’s come to some conclusions.

1. I’m now on Zoloft. Okay, I sort of expected this, we’ll see how I do.

2. I either have a bleeding ulcer or a GI bleed… which is kinda sorta serious.

3. I get to sample my own stool!

4. I get to partake in a colonoscopy, whilst under general anesthesia, which is scary.

Here are some PRO TIPS for everyone, feel free to pass along all this sageness to your friends.

1. Don’t take 12-15(sometimes I took more) excedrine for pain for 5 or 6 years. This will fuck up your stomach.

2. Don’t take 12-15 excedrine for pain for 5 or 6 years while being an alcoholic. This will fuck your stomach up.

3. Anxiety and smoking with caffine in addition to the previously mentioned PRO TIPS will fuck up your stomach.

Oh yeah, I also get to get full blood work done so that they can see what else is wrong with me besides the obvious.

Sooooo the rest of this day will be spent drinking caffine free rootbeer and watching A&E until Sunshine comes to visit me late tonight.


Should I get a Clean and Sober tattoo?

So I recorded a new song I wrote Monday.

If you please, you may listen to it here,
over at Tumblr

Here's the txt from the same linked post.

Okay, so I wrote this Monday night. Recording is getting easier, scratch tracks, guitars, vocals. 1.2.3. Again, no effects just me. Hope you like it.

I got off that cross town bus, like a hundred times before
didn’t mean to cause no fuss when I got to your door
as I told you all the things I’ve said ‘cept for this time they were in my head
and I tried to make you see what you’re lookin’ for is me.

On a ramble late one night girl you took me by surprise
on a ramble late one night as I looked into those eyes

and I saw reflected back at me just the kind of man I want to be
and I danced around inside my head at the thought of you and what you said
I can make a fresh new start with the help of you inside this heart

on a ramble late one night you took me by surprise



Here’s the story as I pictured it in my head;

so like this guy in head over heal for this girl and he has to tell her and he catches the bus over and goes to her door but she won’t let him in and he’s telling her, through the door

“I can think of a million reasons why we won’t work, but I can only think of a handful of reasons why we should work and those are the reasons why I need you, those are the things that matter…”

And as he’s telling her all this he starts to break down while thinking about all the good times that they’ve had and how he feels that he can make himself better, he can see his change in her.

And that’s how it ends. Does she open the door? I don’t know.

Late Night Interview With Keri from michael waskom on Vimeo.

Here's a video I made with Keri.
We talk about dogs, birthdays, friends, old mugs and me throwing bottles around.

Check it out. :)

Here's me covering The Ronettes, Be My Baby.

Enjoy it in all of its haggard glory, I did.

I was visiting a lady and wrote this on a cup.

That is all.

Click here to listen to a song about Megan <3

Butter on a summer day
When she's around
I was on the tracks
When the gates came down
When suddenly I recognized
Those bloodshot rearview mirror eyes as mine

And I heard that whistle call my name
And I almost drove away
But Megan I had a feeling that you would be on that train
So I just waited there for you

Caught a ride to another town
Where the air was clean
And the sun never goes down
Everyone was standing in a line
Between the landing and the stairs

I heard somebody call my name
I almost climbed the stairs
But Megan I had a feeling that someday you'd meet me there
So I just waited there for you
Butter on a summer day
When I hear your name
It's a dream that never came true
So I sat down on the tracks
And waited for a train to take me back to you

And somebody came and took my hand
And I finally had to go
But Megan I just want you to know
That I waited as long as I could

I'm butter on a summer day when she's around

A woman at the grocery store asked how I was doing today. I replyed, "Super". Which is how I reply most of the time, and some of the time I mean it.


Today I meant it and she said it reminded her of her father, who used to say the same thing. I'd like to think that I'm an old soul, tarnished and tattered by what life has given me. Well, that's just super to me.

Tonight I went on another Naples Bike Mass ride. Last week the paper was there and I got interviewed and the story will be on the front page of the local section on Monday. Pretty cool.


I'm finally starting to feel that I have more friends, here in Naples besides Cassie, Melissa, Megan and PJ. It's been really hard on me here. Harder than I might let on. I'm meeting people and having a good time and feeling, I don't know like a part of things.

I always felt like an outsider, someone who couldn't fit in because of my mental problems, the paranoia and the panic attacks etc. So, we'll see, you know.

Cool night, ending with having beers in front of a gas station, reminded me of an old movie you know. This town's not as bad as I thought, and although it's hard to talk to people or even LOOK at people while talking I'm hoping to get a handle on this soon, because I don't want to end up a 30 year old recluse getting all my food and stuff delivered to my house. I mean christ, my windows are already covered in tin foil to keep the light/heat out.


We'll see what happens.

Here's a song I wrote tonight, about running away from life and moving 100 miles south to get away from shit and trying to turn it all around.

I'd appreciate it if you all watched it, kthanks.

This is what I curl up next to each nite

I haven't really been eating regularly, and I'm taking a lot of advil and I still can't fall asleep and I feel like I want to throw up I just work myself up so much worrying, feeling ashamed for my actions and then in public I act flippant, like what I do has no consequence and I keep checking my email and writing in a secret blog really scary things and my hands shake and I drink lots of water and listen to all of the saddest songs trying to get through this and checking my email and refreshing everything trying to forge real human connections and failing and feeling that I did everything wrong and wanting to go back to that like saturday night over mexican food and thinking about saying everything differently, not saying different words but phrasing the words i did speak in another way so that i could be heard and understood more easily and if i could cry i would, because i want to but it's too hard to cry and even if i did i'd probably just get embarrassed by my crying because if anyone was looking through my window at me they'd know that i was forcing it, making it up, trying to cry to look cool or honest and i've never been able to say what i want, say what i mean to who i want to say it to because i'm such a coward because i'm so disconnected but all i really want is connection and i'm 100% certain that if i could i would give up all of my possession and all of my money and all of my knowledge for real human interaction on a intimate level not sexual but openness and honesty and a hug that means it and the smell of comfort and to feel like it's okay to be myself around people, especially older people, the ones in their 40's the parents of the people that I know but it's too hard I can't open up because i'm a contradiction and i'm not a liar i'm just a hider and i guess what i'm just wanting for is for someone to walk up to me and take me by the hand and lead me into the light where i can be cared for like nursed back to health and told that it's okay to be different and to feel this way that that in fact i'm not different everyone goes through this and a long time ago Tom, my friends dad told me to guard my heart because it's special but i didn't listen because i wanted to be open and i wanted to love freely and now he's there and i'm here and i can't be honest or show real emotion because even then i'd still feel ashamed that i have real emotions i'm ashamed to admit to people that i'm not as put together as i want to be, as i want you all to believe and how terribly paradoxical that is and i'm just waiting for the door to open and for the sunlight to come in and you'll walk in and put clothes on me and lead me out of shit that's all around me and you'll say that you don't judge me and that i am loved and then we'd go away and i'd forget all about this past but the scars would remind me of how it felt to be burned for the first time but they don't make me ugly no no they don't they make me beautiful and everyone will love me all the more so because of who i am, not less like i always thought even as a little kid laying there in the middle of the living room floor watching the sealing fan click or really late at night on a school night trying to sleep on the bathroom floor because they're in my room to take me away and i can't go back inside there until daylight and you might be the daylight and here i am my door is open and i'm here waiting, wasting away.

One word - Majestic.

It's Here!!!!!!!!!!

Breakfast with my only friends. Not pictured, Cassie, who although not included in the photo is equally important.



Fuck me, I feel like Doug Coughlin. Don't know who he is, google it.

Lance Armstrong has a son named Luke. According to his twitter his son has entered into a Pinewood derby, you know where fathers and sons, together build a wooden car to race down a track.

Lance refers to his son as "Lukestrong". Is it just me or would being like a 12 year old and having your official nickname named after one of the strongest and most recognizable brand in the world a HUGE psychological advantage?

How do those other poor kids cope with this?

"Oh greattttt, dad. The Armstrong's are here." Is probably what the other kids would say.

haha, I love over analyzing everything.

Here's a photo from Lance's twitpic

IMG00185-20090329-1509.jpg

In seven days these will be in my possession. I can't lie, I'm pretty excited.